Saturday, January 10, 2009

Mike vs. The Computer

It's Friday night and Mike just got home after an enjoyable night out. He turns on the computer and opens the web browser.

Mike: "I just want to check my e-mail before going to bed."

The browser loads and Mike begins to navigate.


computer: "*click!* zmmm POWER OFF."

Mike: ...?!

Mike tries to turn the computer on, but the screen remains blank. After a few failed attempts, he gives up and goes to bed.

The Next Day

Mike: "Ah.. it sure is great to sleep for nine hours! Computer, are you ready for the day?"

computer: "No."

Mike: "Aw, come on. Please? I need to write a paper."

computer: "Sorry, I don't feel like doing anything today."

Mike: "Neither do I, but we're in college now and so we have to be responsible."

computer: "Hahaha."

Mike, in an effort to be responsible, drives to his parents' home to solicit the help of his father. His father touches a few things and presses the power button. The computer starts up and runs normally. Could it be running properly?


After running for a few minutes, the computer dies without warning. Fortunately, this time it is more willing to start up. Perhaps it is intimidated by the presence of Mike's father.

Father: "You have an old anti-virus program. Let's try installing this new one."

Mike watches the screen with great anticipation as the installation begins. Everything is running smoothly until...

computer: "click."

the computer dies again.

Mike, his father and the computer: "That's not good."

The computer now refuses to load the operating system normally. Mike starts the computer in safe mode.

computer: "You know, I'm pretty sick and things are just getting worse. Maybe you should just let me die."

Mike: "Shouldn't you be fighting for your life?"

computer: "Perhaps, but what happens after I die?"

Mike: "You'll be replaced by a more cooperative machine."

computer: "American-made?"

Mike: "Most likely."


computer: "Then I'm fine with dying."

Mike(angrily): "Why? Because you know I'm going to replace you?"

computer: "Well, Someone's got to save the economy!"

1 comment:

Andrew Sullivan said...

Dude, you're getting a Dell?