Life is too toilsome and disheartening by itself, so I'm not going to contribute to its cheerless inclinations. I counterattack by annihilating these phrases:
"I suck at"
"I don't want to (insert verb)"
"No one can love me like Edward"
"The Dow dropped (insert amount) points today"
"That's (*insert negative word)"
*possibilities include but are not limited to lame, stupid, boring, sucky, dumb, and gay.
Negativity has so penetrated our language that simply substituting one of these words with an antonym does not invert its meaning!
"This movie sucks."
"This movie blows."
Together, however, they can make a compelling advertisement.
"My industrial vacuum sucks and blows!"
+10 points for whoever joins me in my quest for ANTS: Annihilation of all Negative ThingS. Maybe we can make hats and watch Mr. Krueger's Christmas and play with kittens. That would be so un-negative.
Positive, I mean.